Humiliation...
Author's Title : “The Fall of the Jedi - Chapter I - Humiliation"
Author: Darth En Ghedi
Origin: Portugal
Language: English
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My arms sunk into the hot sand as I tried to recover from the long walk… But it wasn’t physical pain that hurt me the most.
I used the Force to recover my weak muscles and I tried to clean my deep wounds… but the deeper wounds were not in the flesh…
There were feelings calling me back… Not the Force… It was silent. I was stripped from it.
As I looked behind to the Valley of the Dark Lords, I too wished my tomb was settled there. For the pain I was feeling was deeper than any strike of a vibroblade or lightsaber.
I noticed how my face was wet with sweat and tears. Not of sadness... but of frustration... I was weak and I couldn't escape the path of the dark side that had been extended before me. Still I tried to run to escape it... for I was a Jedi and the Light called me away.
I carved my hands into the burning sand of Korriban and I screamed beyond my own strength. I was in pain… but my wounds were irrelevant.
My mind was sore and that’s what made me scream… I couldn’t feel a thing. The Force was gone.
Apparently my presence was troubling the dark nature of the planet itself. The scream made my senses come back. As I recovered I slowly looked around with the remnant strength I had. Looking at the horizon I saw what troubled my faint senses: a dark shape. I knew that I was being pursued. But the figure seemed slowly approaching as if it knew I had nowhere to run.
I reached my lightsaber and stepped up, sinking my feet to stand ground to halt any attack on my person… Amazingly I found the power to remain standing up. But the lightsaber felt awkward in my hands.
In the hot horizon I saw the, now, familiar shape approaching slowly. It wasn’t a mirage.
The voice that emerged from the silhouette echoed around me… as if his words were cutting through my skin and I was defenseless. I sent my eyes back to the orange sand. The image seemed to trouble my sight... and it did... The Dark Side of the Force that the Sith Lord emanated was like fire through my eyes.
-The Jedi had you in such high esteem. I am curious to know if they were wrong.
Just his presence, so intense, made me kneel once more, weak and exhausted. I had no more power.
As I, finally, raised my eyes I could see the face of the one who had inflicted me the pain, both physical and emotional I was now feeling. The man who stole the Force from me.
His armor was dark as were his voice. The head was cloaked and all I could see was a chin. A man’s chin. His lightsaber on his right hand was off.
-Do you know who I am, Jeedai?
I had trouble regaining my composure, much less to talk. That last scream took away whatever strength I could have had. I tried to whisper my reply.
-Spare me, Dark Sider. No more pain. I am no longer with the Force… you took it…
The Sith Lord looked at me from his dark eyes covered by his cloak. For the first time I could see some traces of the strong visage the man had. He was young, but the rage in him was ageless.
-Spare you? – His voice sounded amused by my request – I am surprised now. Much more than I was when you thought you could defend yourself from me…
-I fought like you wanted… you won… let me die here…
Suddenly, I felt the fear return. That was my true pain. The wounds in my body felt trivial as I felt the inflicted visions of terror the Sith Lord was giving me.
-Enough! – I begged – Why so much torture? You have what you wanted… I am as good as dead!
I grabbed his hand holding the lightsaber and placed it against my throat.
-Finish me! I beg you… - I was desperately fighting not for my life, but for my death…
-You’re pathetic, Jeedai! – The Dark Lord Force Pushed me and I landed in the hot sand with a dry thump. – You’re "begging" me to stop your pain. Where’s your altruism? Your courage? Who are you, Jeedai? Just another mortal…
I stood up and I saw my lightsaber laying in the sand and my mind made a quick plan… A cunning one. Perhaps I had a chance.
I crawled back to meet my foe and I continued my begging. Between all the fear I was being inflicted I felt the enormous urge to grab the saber and cut the dark lord's flesh. Little did I know it was rage I was feeling. The Dark Side’s path. But the Force was stripped from me, so my senses were torn.
I heard the voice of the Sith Lord echo in my mind, one last time.
-That’s more like it…
He knew my plan when I was but centimeters from getting the saber and with a Force Pull e took it to his grasp. I landed on the hot sand, once again not in pain from its heat but from the humiliation I felt in that instant.
Suddenly the fear came back, as the Sith Lord resumed his torture.
-You see how your rage can make you powerful and how it can focus your mind. Only through your rage can you recover your senses with the Force… and attempt to defeat me…
-Never, Sith spit… I am a Jedi!
-Not anymore… Now you’re… scum…
The Sith Lord threw my lightsaber next to me, making the hot sand spray to my face. Another humiliation.
-Take your weapon Jeedai… Fight me…
It was an unbalanced match and the Sith knew. I was no longer with Force as my ally. There was no chance to be victorious. It was certain death.
Still I picked my saber. But didn’t light it up. I simply grabbed it and felt suicide was not a bad way to end my suffering.
I turned the blade projector towards me and smiled to the Sith Lord. Victory was mine, one way or the other. Then I pressed the button.
But the blade never pierced my chest like I intended.
It was somehow held at the source. That was when I realized the Sith Lord raising his hand.
He was stopping the blade from killing me.
-Don’t be a coward, Jeedai! – The weak wind blew ever so slightly. Enough to reveal his own smiling face to me. – Rise and fight!
Even though I was too weak, I battled my body’s call to lie down and precipitate a fight to end this grief.
I wield my saber towards the Sith Lord and the blade came to life, free from the influence of the Dark Lord. I cried out the words I couldn’t pronounce as I tried to cut through his chest.
But like I anticipated he was too quick and I passed beyond him to land in the sand again.
Only this time I felt the hot sand in an undescribable pain in my arms. That was when I found out what really happened.
The Sith Lord had cut my hand.
Another humiliation…
-FINISH ME, SITH! STOP THIS GAME! - I was desperate to end both the pain and the humiliation.
-You’re not worthy to die by my blade… You are a fool. You’re pathetic.
-Then… just… have mercy…
-Mercy? You should read your Jeedai archives more often… Sith have no mercy…
I closed my eyes and expected the worse. But when nothing happened I understood, at last.
The Sith Lord was walking back to the Valley and leaving me there to die…
I stood still for a moment looking at his figure until I couldn’t distinguish it from the horizon. I was not believing my fate… I was left alive… but at what cost?
I was robbed of by bond with the Force… I was badly wounded… I was humiliated… and now left to die in the middle of nowhere…
Suddenly I heard a voice coming from my own mind.
“When you wish to truly survive, when you feel that your anger can destroy me. You know where I am…”
I laid down one last time… and I closed my eyes… I wanted to sleep forever… still, the last sparkle of the Force was returning to me, as if it was an offer from the Dark Lord.
I used it to heal my wounds…
My mind…
Slowly the fear was abandoning me…
Rage took over… Revenge…
It was a dangerous path, but the Sith Lord was right… It was the only way to destroy him…
And I swore I would!
I used the Force to recover my weak muscles and I tried to clean my deep wounds… but the deeper wounds were not in the flesh…
There were feelings calling me back… Not the Force… It was silent. I was stripped from it.
As I looked behind to the Valley of the Dark Lords, I too wished my tomb was settled there. For the pain I was feeling was deeper than any strike of a vibroblade or lightsaber.
I noticed how my face was wet with sweat and tears. Not of sadness... but of frustration... I was weak and I couldn't escape the path of the dark side that had been extended before me. Still I tried to run to escape it... for I was a Jedi and the Light called me away.
I carved my hands into the burning sand of Korriban and I screamed beyond my own strength. I was in pain… but my wounds were irrelevant.
My mind was sore and that’s what made me scream… I couldn’t feel a thing. The Force was gone.
Apparently my presence was troubling the dark nature of the planet itself. The scream made my senses come back. As I recovered I slowly looked around with the remnant strength I had. Looking at the horizon I saw what troubled my faint senses: a dark shape. I knew that I was being pursued. But the figure seemed slowly approaching as if it knew I had nowhere to run.
I reached my lightsaber and stepped up, sinking my feet to stand ground to halt any attack on my person… Amazingly I found the power to remain standing up. But the lightsaber felt awkward in my hands.
In the hot horizon I saw the, now, familiar shape approaching slowly. It wasn’t a mirage.
The voice that emerged from the silhouette echoed around me… as if his words were cutting through my skin and I was defenseless. I sent my eyes back to the orange sand. The image seemed to trouble my sight... and it did... The Dark Side of the Force that the Sith Lord emanated was like fire through my eyes.
-The Jedi had you in such high esteem. I am curious to know if they were wrong.
Just his presence, so intense, made me kneel once more, weak and exhausted. I had no more power.
As I, finally, raised my eyes I could see the face of the one who had inflicted me the pain, both physical and emotional I was now feeling. The man who stole the Force from me.
His armor was dark as were his voice. The head was cloaked and all I could see was a chin. A man’s chin. His lightsaber on his right hand was off.
-Do you know who I am, Jeedai?
I had trouble regaining my composure, much less to talk. That last scream took away whatever strength I could have had. I tried to whisper my reply.
-Spare me, Dark Sider. No more pain. I am no longer with the Force… you took it…
The Sith Lord looked at me from his dark eyes covered by his cloak. For the first time I could see some traces of the strong visage the man had. He was young, but the rage in him was ageless.
-Spare you? – His voice sounded amused by my request – I am surprised now. Much more than I was when you thought you could defend yourself from me…
-I fought like you wanted… you won… let me die here…
Suddenly, I felt the fear return. That was my true pain. The wounds in my body felt trivial as I felt the inflicted visions of terror the Sith Lord was giving me.
-Enough! – I begged – Why so much torture? You have what you wanted… I am as good as dead!
I grabbed his hand holding the lightsaber and placed it against my throat.
-Finish me! I beg you… - I was desperately fighting not for my life, but for my death…
-You’re pathetic, Jeedai! – The Dark Lord Force Pushed me and I landed in the hot sand with a dry thump. – You’re "begging" me to stop your pain. Where’s your altruism? Your courage? Who are you, Jeedai? Just another mortal…
I stood up and I saw my lightsaber laying in the sand and my mind made a quick plan… A cunning one. Perhaps I had a chance.
I crawled back to meet my foe and I continued my begging. Between all the fear I was being inflicted I felt the enormous urge to grab the saber and cut the dark lord's flesh. Little did I know it was rage I was feeling. The Dark Side’s path. But the Force was stripped from me, so my senses were torn.
I heard the voice of the Sith Lord echo in my mind, one last time.
-That’s more like it…
He knew my plan when I was but centimeters from getting the saber and with a Force Pull e took it to his grasp. I landed on the hot sand, once again not in pain from its heat but from the humiliation I felt in that instant.
Suddenly the fear came back, as the Sith Lord resumed his torture.
-You see how your rage can make you powerful and how it can focus your mind. Only through your rage can you recover your senses with the Force… and attempt to defeat me…
-Never, Sith spit… I am a Jedi!
-Not anymore… Now you’re… scum…
The Sith Lord threw my lightsaber next to me, making the hot sand spray to my face. Another humiliation.
-Take your weapon Jeedai… Fight me…
It was an unbalanced match and the Sith knew. I was no longer with Force as my ally. There was no chance to be victorious. It was certain death.
Still I picked my saber. But didn’t light it up. I simply grabbed it and felt suicide was not a bad way to end my suffering.
I turned the blade projector towards me and smiled to the Sith Lord. Victory was mine, one way or the other. Then I pressed the button.
But the blade never pierced my chest like I intended.
It was somehow held at the source. That was when I realized the Sith Lord raising his hand.
He was stopping the blade from killing me.
-Don’t be a coward, Jeedai! – The weak wind blew ever so slightly. Enough to reveal his own smiling face to me. – Rise and fight!
Even though I was too weak, I battled my body’s call to lie down and precipitate a fight to end this grief.
I wield my saber towards the Sith Lord and the blade came to life, free from the influence of the Dark Lord. I cried out the words I couldn’t pronounce as I tried to cut through his chest.
But like I anticipated he was too quick and I passed beyond him to land in the sand again.
Only this time I felt the hot sand in an undescribable pain in my arms. That was when I found out what really happened.
The Sith Lord had cut my hand.
Another humiliation…
-FINISH ME, SITH! STOP THIS GAME! - I was desperate to end both the pain and the humiliation.
-You’re not worthy to die by my blade… You are a fool. You’re pathetic.
-Then… just… have mercy…
-Mercy? You should read your Jeedai archives more often… Sith have no mercy…
I closed my eyes and expected the worse. But when nothing happened I understood, at last.
The Sith Lord was walking back to the Valley and leaving me there to die…
I stood still for a moment looking at his figure until I couldn’t distinguish it from the horizon. I was not believing my fate… I was left alive… but at what cost?
I was robbed of by bond with the Force… I was badly wounded… I was humiliated… and now left to die in the middle of nowhere…
Suddenly I heard a voice coming from my own mind.
“When you wish to truly survive, when you feel that your anger can destroy me. You know where I am…”
I laid down one last time… and I closed my eyes… I wanted to sleep forever… still, the last sparkle of the Force was returning to me, as if it was an offer from the Dark Lord.
I used it to heal my wounds…
My mind…
Slowly the fear was abandoning me…
Rage took over… Revenge…
It was a dangerous path, but the Sith Lord was right… It was the only way to destroy him…
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